Advice Needed: Mental Health
The further and further I get I feel like ive trapped myself in a deep, dark hole.
Every year I keep getting awards. I keep making my parents proud. I keep pretending to be happy about it... but it all disappears in a matter of days. The praise doesnt last. I just want more and more.
I want to be the best.
However, I feel so hollow inside - like someone has dug out the part of me that was happy with a pass. A pass isnt enough anymore, and I cant take it. I hate myself when i see that 50%. I hate myself so much for it.
I want to stop. I want to be happy, but I dont know how to stop beating myself up about it.
Advice Needed: Mental Health
People who are depressed and overcame it, what's the first thing that you do to overcome your depression?
Advice Needed: Career
20F.
After high school I spent a few years preparing for a competitive exam. Eventually I realized I didn't actually want that career path anymore, and the preparation was taking a serious toll on my mental health.
This year I finally decided to move out of this loop and apply to colleges instead. The problem is that I had very little guidance. I'm an only child, my parents couldn't really help with college choices, and I ended up applying mostly based on whatever information I could gather myself.
I got into a government college . After some reviews I heard that it's not too good but not too bad either it's decent . Now that the admission season is almost over, everyone suddenly has opinions, telling me I should have aimed higher or chosen a better college.
The college is about 12 hours from my hometown in a large city. Part of me wants to move out as after years of being stuck a hope felt home suffocated, saw my life pass by in one corner of my room Another part of me is terrified that I'm making another mistake and will regret it later.
What makes this harder is that I've spent years dealing with anxiety and "freeze" responses. This year I did work hard even when I knew my chances were low because I wanted to improve myself but not getting into any of my first choices has made me feel disappointed in myself and feel my parents don't deserve such results from me . They are anxious about the college I got and future and I try to make them understand, calm them down but who is gonna calm the inner turmoil of self doubt, doubts whether I am going into the right direction or not. I genuinely feel I am on my own plus no confidence in myself.
I feel like I'm standing at a crossroads and I genuinely don't know if I'm moving forward or making another mistake. I wanna trust the process but why do I end up finding myself in situations I fear the most .
Genuinely need advices🙏🏻
