Hello,
I need to rant and also gain a gain some fresh perspective on how to deal with my relationship with my father from a gospel perspective. This got taken down from a different group so hopefully I can get some insight here.
I always had a solid relationship with my dad. Growing up, he was always a pretty strict parent and as I got into the teenage/more observant years, I saw that he can be quite a difficult man. As he proudly puts it himself, he's a "hard man to love".
Although I am full of my flaws, growing up and especially coming home from serving my mission, I have noticed cracks in our relationship as I developed my own personality and came to voice my opinion more often. He is pretty "old-fashioned" by which I mean he at times says things that I find sexist and ableist (and others forbidden to be mentioned by community standards). For example, he can be pretty bossy with his wife/my mom but he won't do any of the house chores although she works full-time and he only works part-time.
As I went off to college, our views parted ways even more, most of it comes down to politics but I bring it here because I do think he says things that are not in line with the gospel. He speaks against certain religions, races and sexual orientations very strongly. Recently we had a conversation and he derailed and ended up comparing gay marriage to something horrible! I asked what he would do if one of his kids or many grandkids came out and he outright said he couldn't love them any more.
I love him, he is my father. But it's hard seeing the man who joined the church and brought us up very strictly following the gospel, talk scripture and love so little.
I sometimes help him with his social media account that he rushed for business and recently I noticed he follows A LOT of younger women accounts, specifically Asian, and that he DMs them quite regularly. Nothing overly sexual, simply comments on their "looks", their smiles, hair and how they are beautiful. To my horror then, I found that he follows some of my closer friends that he meet only a couple of times and he's been messaging them out of the blue, as in, "Beautiful princess, how is your day? My wife is busy with work so she doesn't have time for me" etc.
This was a drop too much and I don't know what to do. Our relationship was good so far - we were always able to discuss our differences openly and maintained honesty. If I felt strongly about something, I would tell him and vice versa. Most of the times he gets offended and ghosts me for some days but then we get back to talking.
I want to talk to him about this but I don't know how or if it's my place. The worst thing is that my mom does so much. She has been the hard worked and brought all of the kids up. I have so much love and respect for her that this really broke me. He also holds a significant-ish calling jn our ward.
I want to talk to him but I don't know how. I know if I don't talk about it, it will simply boil inside me until I erupt at some point. I also feel horrible because he had a falling out with most of my siblings at some point and I always tried to remain a good daughter and not mix up other people's issues with how I view a person. He only really talks to me and another sibling kind of. I am really struggling with walking the fine line between setting boundaries and not judging right now.
