I have x-posted this, for visibility. I don't want a mod to remove my comment and have the intended recipient miss it.
I have a creepy, dangerous and truly awful stalker. He isn't obsessed with me out of desire, but rather because he is petty, vindictive and mean. Think "Donald Trump" and his issue with .
Everything is a reason to escalate disproportionately. He is not well, not rational. You'd think being fired (a lot), dumped frequently, stood up periodically, having numerous run-ins with the police and even having been banned (albeit temporarily) from various bars and establishments might clue a guy in. If everything is shitty around you all the time, there's a real good chance that you are the thing making it shitty.
But it doesn't. The world is out to get him. He is either a victim or a hero, never, ever the perpetrator. Not ever. Again, refer to Mr. Trump for some fine examples. He is totally without empathy or compassion, only ever "nice" when he wants something.
Anyway, he has known about this account for some time, and I was aware he was following it. Only recently has he admitted to doing so, after I left a "bomb" in my comments - I said he was sketchy. No name, no address. Just a reference to his role in my life and that he was sketchy.
Which blew the roof off the place. Shouting, being super shitty, threats, etc. After being called "sketchy" in a place he would only know about had he been acting... sketchy.
Anyway, some time later this escalated from emotional abuse to physical abuse. Which, again, he is completely and utterly blameless for. Goes through life being completely without blame for anything and everything. Must be nice.
So why am I saying any of this? Because I am walking away from this account, which I've had for about 10 years. I came to Reddit from Digg, when Digg was still popular. Before Reddit did Thumbnails and the conversations were decidedly more nerdy. Where comment posts numbered in the hundreds, not the thousands. Where you could check the FP once a day and stay current, not doing the F5-refresh for New New New all the time. I've been a long-term Redditor. Part of my saying goodbye is to leave a message for my abuser, who is most certainly still stalking this account. Will I create a new account and try again? Maybe. Maybe this is a good time to walk away from Reddit altogether. Certainly hasn't helped my productivity...
So here goes.
To you,
You are unwell. You will look through this for anything you can use. You will take screenshots and pour over every line, every comment. You will cry Slander, even though Libel is the written version. Even though it doesn't mention you by name, by address, by city, by country and even only vaguely suggests which planet you are on. Even though it cannot be connected to you as an individual in any way whatsoever, and thus is not libel (or slander for that matter). Yet you will cry it nonetheless.
You will also take this as an excuse to escalate. "Oh it is on". Another attempt at a peace bond. Another call to the police. Another attempt to block or control or otherwise be emotionally abusive.
I know all of that. Because you are unwell, and this is what unwell people do. My therapist took all of the actions I have described of you over our time in association, and declared you 'pathological'. I would agree with his assessment.
You are the architect of your own misery. Into some lives a bit of misery will fall. That's normal. The rest of it, however, is your doing. For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. You are frequently surprised and upset when the reaction shows up.
I have tried with you. I have paid for you. I have excused your behaviour. I have apologized for things I didn't do wrong. I have downplayed the concerns of others. I have cleaned up after you. I have tended to you when you were drunk, when you were sad and when you were high. I have tolerated you. I have even given you gifts and tokens of appreciation or sympathy, when appropriate. I have tended to your property. I have tended to your pet. I cleaned. I cooked. I helped when you asked for help, without question. You had the sweetest deal possible, a deal you are unlikely to ever find again. However, I've had enough.
My attempt to end things resulted in the expected escalations. Since this time I was truly done, the escalations didn't work the same way. So it became physical. You attacked me. Of course you are telling everyone that I attacked you, since that's how you operate. How's your defensive bruising? Mine's looking pretty gnarly. I'll bet yours doesn't exist.
You need help. I have tried to help you before. I have presented therapy options to you in the past. I have even offered to pay for some of it. You weren't interested. So here's the Big Life Lesson that you need to learn, and that hopefully you will live long enough to do so (and no, that isn't a threat. You are capable of harming yourself far more than I have the patience to).
No amount of drugs, booze, gangbangs or anonymous bareback sex will ever complete you. Travel will not fix you. Going to parties and hanging out with cute boys won't make everything better. There is no boyfriend waiting for someone who acts as you do. No external force is ever going to make you happy. Making others miserable will not give you lasting joy. You need to fix you, by talking to a professional. By using prescription medication. By figuring your shit out.
I expect you to listen to none of that. I expect you will continue using, continue pulling the same old shit and continue trying to find people to "destroy". I expect you will come for me. And I expect that once what limited physical attractiveness you have (and really, you aren't nearly as hot as you seem to think. Also, you should shower much more often) goes away - and it will - you will find yourself bitter, poor and alone.
It's in that moment, when you finally have no place to turn, no place to live, no allies left, that I want you to remember that I tried. That someone tried to help, at least just once. And that you were too fucked up to accept that help.
I'd even describe you as "sketchy".
The worst part is, I still have empathy and compassion. That's why I put up with so much for so long. I genuinely did not want to add to your troubles. I honestly wanted you to be a better person. A part of me still does. I can't decide which is stronger; my anger for you, or my pity.
But either way, fuck off.
And there is goes. Goodbye fellow Redditors, and thanks for all the fish.
