r/FTMMen

There is a trans group at uni now that focus on problems related to trans people.

Context: I already finish my bachelors and now I am back a few years later for my masters. With that said I was the second trans person to attend this uni (out at least), that was around 2019. My name was not changed yet legally, I was not on T yet, so being stealth was not even an option. A lot of transphobia from staff and professors. Now that I am back I haven’t really told many people, there are some professors that remember me so they know.

I am not in this group, a friend of mine is. They were having a reunion about “how many trans people there are now” and kind of making a list to keep it as a record. She said that my name came up and this transguy, which I know, said that “He doesn’t count”. They moved on later to another subject.

Ngl this made me mad.

I know I am not an activist and I don’t plan on ever being on, but unfortunately I am trans. Things are “simpler” for you because of all the sh** I had to endure. I know it’s not a great scale of things. I know I am not the president or whatever, but eventually things did change. They started to use my name on the roll call, now there is a form for it! I had to teach a bunch of professors of what it was to be trans just to exist on that place and for him to say that “He doesn’t count” seriously made me mad!

I had a really unexpectedly affirming experience today and I kind of want to share it somewhere people will get it.

I’m my wife’s legal caregiver, and I went with her to her gynecologist today because she doesn’t speak, so I usually talk for her at appointments.

The plan was to talk about her stopping the birth control pill, because she doesn’t need contraception. I explained that to the doctor, and she immediately asked if we were planning a pregnancy, or why contraception wasn’t needed anymore.

So I said, “I’m infertile.”

She suddenly got very serious and started asking which doctor told me that, and said that it’s never 100% certain and she was clearly about to give me a whole lecture about it.

I was completely confused for a second, because this doctor has known me for a while and I honestly thought she still saw me as female. But apparently after 9 months on T, I pass well enough that she had completely forgotten / didn’t connect the dots.

So I said, “No, I’m sure. I was born female.”

Then we all kind of laughed, and she immediately relaxed and said, “Okay, then yes, that is definitely 100%.”

Later, at the reception desk, she quietly came up to me again and said something like, “Honestly, I guess it’s kind of a compliment that I didn’t realize.” She seemed a bit embarrassed, but for me it was actually really nice.

Of course, having to out myself isn’t ideal. But the fact that she genuinely assumed I could get my wife pregnant made me feel so seen as a man. It was such a weird, funny, affirming little moment.