r/predaddit

Hey pre-daddit, my first son is just over a month old, and I wanted to share my take on what was actually useful to have / buy in our first month.

Full disclosure, I’m not an expert, just a dad with way too much shit in his house right now haha. Your lifestyle may be different so don’t take it personally if I turn down an item that you’re deadset on. Similarly for other dads, PLEASE weigh in! This was just my experience, but every baby is unique. Maybe there's something you used that I didn't, I'd love to hear about it.

My goal of writing this isn’t to tell you “X item is bad and you should feel bad” but to help you plan out WHEN to buy stuff. If for your mental health you would rather just buy it all before birth, no problem go for it, but hopefully this helps you optimize your space, time, and money.

Finally, if your wife is deadset on an item, don’t fucking tell her “but babe, some guy on reddit said…” Just buy it for her. Your job is to keep her cortisol level down, and to make her feel safe about having this baby. Use my list if you are your partner are humming and hawwing over a certain item.

Must Have

• Car seat - duh haha. A lot of this comes down to colour / style / fit. In most countries, all major car seats will meet the same / similar safety ratings. I bought the Uppababy Vista travel system with the Aria V2 car seat, your mileage may vary

• Crib / pack and play / bassinet - Also duh lol. We have the uppababy bassinet that fits into the stroller but honestly get whatever you like. Apparently the swivel ones that can pull ONTO the bed are super useful. We also have a pack and play downstairs so we can put the guy down for a few minutes while we run around and do things in the house

• Baby monitor - Lot of marketing / scare tactics here I feel. We didn’t get anything fancy because honestly, I didn’t want to live with the constant notifications. We got a vtech baby monitor with two cameras.

• Stroller - Controversial, some people say you don’t need it because your kiddo won’t leave the house for 3 months. My lifestyle was putting my kiddo in the car seat, strapping it to the stroller, and going across the street to get a croissant and a coffee for my wife while she slept in. YMMV here

• Diaper caddy - Okay so my wife is a genius and found these little pastel coloured trolleys in a store, and it stores clothes, the diapers, etc. Nice to have everything in one place at 3am Costco membership / amazon prime

• Sudocrem - I have no fucking clue what this shit is made out of but it helps clear up diaper rash SO quickly.

• A giant ass water bottle for you wife, get one of those 40oz ones so you don’t have to get up and fill it every 30 mins.

• 2-3 sheet sets for your crib. Day 4 my kiddo blew the fuck out of his diaper, shit up his back, soaked it through his onesie and all over the bassinet mattress.

• Thermometer - Must have. All types suck besides rectal. I have one of each. The laser / forehead ones are dogshit. I have a braun one that constantly reads my kid as being like 4 degrees cooler than room temperature (which would mean he’s dead)

• Diaper pail - Was great. Helps limit smells and prevents you from having just a giant garbage bag in the middle of your room full of shitty diapers. We have one in our bedroom and one in our living room

• Puppy pads - Put one on top of wherever you change the baby. Your kid takes a shit mid diaper, just wipe them down, remove the puppy pad, and keep going. IF YOU ARE ONLY GOING TO TAKE ONE PIECE OF ADVICE FROM ME, PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS TIP. IT WILL SAVE YOU SOOOO MUCH WASHING OF CHANGING TABLE COVERS. rightfully called out, PLEASE get the human safe ones or natural ones. I have these organic pads my SIL gave me that are NOT scented and don't contain the polyacrylate. Get natural puppy pads or the medical grade disposable pads on Amazon

Used Frequently, but not required Day 1

• Diaper bag - You don’t need this day 1, but we got a ton of mileage out of ours in the first few weeks vs carrying everything in backpacks

• Bottle washer - Controversial, I know. If you’re bottle feeding / formula feeding, this is probably needed. We are EBF, but ours lets us wash other things like pump parts, pacifiers, etc.

• Books / enrichment - I highly recommend high contrast books. You will be surprised at how much they help your baby orient their eyesight. You can use them at tummy time to get them to look around / turn their head

• Aspirator - Our baby is pretty stuffed up (getting tested for allergies) and this was super useful to use at night

• Wall chargers x100000 / new outlets with USB plugs - All of our electronics were dead 24/7 so I basically had to keep a wall charger plugged into every wall lmao

• Velcro swaddler - No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t get the technique down to blanket swaddle. Velcro swaddle allowed me to get a tight fit without fucking around at 3am in the dark with a blanket while my two week old shrieked at me

• Kindle - My wife LOVES to read. When your baby is <1 month, they’re a potato. She read 14 books in the first month on her kindle because there wasn’t much else for her to do tbh lol.

• Mini fridge - reminded me that this was super useful. We stored pumped milk, light food, and drinks in it. Note, it will heat up your room slightly.

Should buy, but used ad hoc

• Wash tub - Just do it ‘70’s style and wash your kiddo in the sink, but we do have a bathtub. I think we gave our kid two baths in their first month? Handy to have, won’t be used much

• Tower fan - So for me, this was a day 1 purchase, depending on your climate you may not. Tower fans help circulate air > air circulation reduces SIDS risk + cools the room

Infrequent use so far / don’t buy yet

• Bouncer - Literally used once, you don’t need this day one

• A rocking swing - You don’t need this shit, it will just clutter your house

• Tummy time playmat - You don’t need this. Just put a blanket on the floor with like a book or something

• Fancy nursing room stuff - Your baby doesn’t give a fuck yet

• Giant wardrobe - Baby clothing is sooo tiny and you are going to be swapping in clothing, throwing clothing out, sizing stuff up, etc so frequently that you don’t need a giant amount of space

• High chair - Not needed for months

• Sound machine - Meh. I legit played a “womb sounds” playlist on my phone + some baby monitors actually come with basic sounds now

Bought later, wish I bought it sooner

• Nursing rocker - Honestly these are awesome. Super comfy, and usually let you recline. Nicer than having to breastfeed from bed tbh

• Carrier - We have a dog and some mornings she would have to go out while I was on baby duty. Made it easy to strap the kiddo to me to take the dog out

Last tip, make a care kit for your wife, you will look like a great spouse

• Peri bottle. Helps her clean herself after bathroom breaks. 100% needed

• Depends / panty liners / pads. Self explanatory

• Witch hazel spray / oil - Helps with swelling and healing, super useful

• Sitz bath - Go out and buy the tub one from a pharmacy. She only used it twice but she literally cried and thanked me 20x when I set it up for her the first time

• Snacks like 10 of each of her favourite kinds

• A gown / bathrobe. Some days she just wanted to lay in bed and wear loose clothing

• Stomach wrap - I think more helpful if your wife has a c section, but helps keep everything "tight" post birth. Many women report feeling weird sensations / squishy sensations in their stomachs as their organs settle. This belt gives them a but of tightness / support. YMMV, I think some OBs actually don't recommend this is used all the time.

• fibre + stool softener + hemorrhoid cream - self explanatory